


Deep desires

by Ameldeya



Series: Cullistair-Stories [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Enemies to Friends, F/M, King Alistair, Lost Love, Love Triangles, Miscarriage, Multi, mage queen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-10-27 00:53:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10798341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ameldeya/pseuds/Ameldeya
Summary: As the queen and love of his life disappears, lured by a false calling and suffering after her third miscarriage, King Alistair is determined to find her. But who is helping him in a world that is falling apart because of a hole in the sky and templars and mages batteling each other?He has to accept the help from the man he would have asked last to have a chance to find her in a land, he would voluntarily never put a foot in.





	Deep desires

**Author's Note:**

> Please forgive me for spelling errors - English is not my mother tongue.  
> But constructive criticism is always welcome!

The rain drummed with gentle fingers against the window and told the story that there was a world outside that would go on - with him or without. The small room was bitterly cold and the small fire in the chimney could not scare the cold of his heart away. Tomorrow would be the day. Although she had insisted in doing the last blow, he would try to do it. The voice of the witch echoed in his head like a curse, repeating itself over and over again.  _“We may have not much in common, but one thing: I care about her, you care about her. Do yourself and me a favor and just do it. I don’t like it either.”_

But there was no way he would do such thing. Blood magic – yuck. If he wasn’t such a coward, he would tell her tonight. Tell her that she had bewitched him. Tell her that he had wanted to hold her in his arms as she cried her heart out because of this blonde templar. Tell her that he would always be there for her. Tell her… a knocking interrupted his thoughts. With just a few steps he stood in front of the door and opened it with so much force that he almost knocked the small figure over.

“Oh!” With her cougar like reflexes she stumbled backward. Alistair would recognize this voice in a thousand years. The voice that had told him to become king. The voice that didn’t tell him that she didn’t love him with words, but pushed him away by making him something he never wanted to be. But nonetheless, Alistair couldn’t help but smile. “Are you here to hear one of my jokes to die of laughter so that this dragon thing can’t get you?”

She didn’t say a word and just smiled shyly. That wasn’t the best he could have said, was it? A long, painful break weighed down his heart as she didn’t speak. As he couldn’t bear it a second longer, Alistair tried to say something, but she shushed him with a single movement of her hand. “Please Alistair, this is already hard enough. Don’t make it any harder.”

Emilia looked him directly in the eyes. Her green eyes pierced through him like darts. He had seen this eyes with a thousand expressions in it. Fear. Anger. Sadness. Surprise. Hope. A spark of happiness. But never uncertainty like now.

“I thought… I mean… tomorrow… One of us will die. Probably me. If now is not the time for awkward confession, then there never will be.” She seesawed from one foot to another and chewed her lower lip. Alistair knew her too well. She was nervous. But why? What on earth could be so important to tell him the night before their big battle?

“Alistair… I… Well… Obviously, I suck about this. What I just want you to know… Well… Maker… I… I love you, Alistair. I love you from the bottom of my heart. I loved you since the day I saw you.” Alistair froze into a pillar of salt. Did he hear her right? She loved him?

And what did he? He said nothing. Dumb Alistair. Maybe Morrigan was right all the time. The worst happened that could happen. She mistook his reaction for rejection. “It is alright that you don’t love me back. I just… I just wanted you to know. Just in case… Well, it doesn’t matter now anyway.”

React. React now or it will be late forever. He bubbled nonsense all the time, we couldn’t he say a single word now? As she turned around and was about to leave the room, his body reacted faster than his tongue. A firm hand grabbed her wrist with a soft iron grip and forced her gently to twist around. Before she could say another word, his lips crushed on hers.

“I love you.”, he whispered in her ear with hot breath. “I always have and I always will.” He wanted her. Wholly and completely. Every inch of his body demanded her touch, every fiber ached for her warmth. Her hands had already made their way under his shirt and untied his belt as he kissed her neck with a hot tongue. So long he had wanted this and now, one night before he died his sincerest wish came true. Story of his life.

As she laid on his chest and his fingers teared through her ruffled curls, both still sweating from their act of love, she yawned. “Sleep, my love.” Alistair kissed her head. “I don’t want to sleep. If I sleep, the morning will come. And when the morning is there, this will be over. Us. We will be history.” But some more of his soft words and she drifted into the fade.

Alistair hated to leave her behind. She moaned a little as the radiating heat of his body disappeared from her back, but she didn’t wake up. On the tip of his toes Alistair sneaked out of the room, glancing back at the beautiful woman sleeping in his bed. Her soft curls were spread over the pillow like some painter had placed them there with the greatest care to retain this scene for eternity.

He roamed through the hallway, up and down like a caged animal. Could he do this? Could he really do this? Just a few hours before, the mere thought of it seemed impossible, but now, everything had changed. His mind showed him pictures of them together, roaming through a garden full of roses, sitting on a bench in the sunset, waking up next to each other. This could not be over. Not now. Not, before it never had started. And was it so wicked wanting a happy end? He was always selfless. But maybe today was the day the bastard rose and started to claim his own piece of happiness. Alistair sighed deeply, rose his hand and knocked on Morrigan’s door.

**Author's Note:**

> If you like the idea, I'll appreciate every kudos, comment or bookmark :)


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